| Have you ever heard of a Talking Stick? I
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| | “silent treatment.” This is
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| hadn't until two days ago when my husband
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| | where the Talking Stick really works its
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| presented me with one!
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| | magic! I know of at least one marriage
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| “Okay…” I thought,
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| | counselor who uses the Talking Stick as
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| “Is this supposed to be some joke
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| | part of her marriage therapy techniques.
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| about me talking too much or what?”
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| | But also imagine what positive effects
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| But then he continued his presentation
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| | this form of communication could have on
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| saying, “Honey, I know that
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| | family relations as well! Take my family
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| sometimes you think I'm not listening to
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| | for example: I have three children, ages
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| you. I have to admit, sometimes you're
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| | 2, 5, & 14. The teenager is convinced
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| right. But you are the love of my life,
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| | that NO ONE listens to him, the toddler
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| and even when I'm distracted, I always
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| | MAKES SURE that everyone listens to her,
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| want you to be my first priority. That's
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| | and the 5-year-old desperately tries to
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| why I made this for you…I give you
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| | have his views heard above the other two!
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| this Talking Stick as a symbol of my
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| | It's quite the circus some days! Now that
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| commitment to always put you first, no
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| | we have the Talking Stick, EVERYONE will
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| matter what. If there's ever a time when
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| | be heard. And hopefully all family
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| you don't think I'm paying attention to
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| | members will begin to feel like their
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| you, or if you think I'm ignoring
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| | opinions are being heard and really do
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| something important…just pick up
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| | count. I think it will be a great family
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| this Talking Stick. I promise to listen,
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| | communication tool.
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| without interruption, while you tell me
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| | Please visit if you'd like to read more
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| what's on your mind.” Wow! What
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| | about the history of the Talking Stick
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| woman wouldn't love that? A promise of
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| | and some of the symbolism behind the
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| undivided attention any time we want it!
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| | items used in making one. There is also a
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| Does this man realize what he has just
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| | picture of what one might look like.
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| done?
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| | By now, you may be inspired to make your
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| I came to discover that the Talking Stick
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| | own Talking Stick for your family. Go for
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| has been used for centuries by many
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| | it! Be creative! My husband used ideas
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| American Indian tribes as a means of just
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| | from the article above and added
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| and impartial hearing. The stick was
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| | different types of beads to symbolize
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| commonly used in council circles to
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| | each family member and some other
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| designate who had the right to speak.
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| | personal symbolism that only our family
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| Whoever holds the Talking Stick within
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| | would appreciate. He also typed out a
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| his hands has the power of words. When
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| | “story” explaining the
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| matters of great concern came before the
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| | history of the stick and included the
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| council, the leading elder would hold the
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| | meanings of all the symbolism he used to
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| stick and begin the discussion. When he
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| | create it. One of my favorite parts is,
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| finished what he had to say he would hold
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| | “The fork in the stick represents
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| out the stick, and whoever wished to
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| | disagreement which is natural between
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| speak after him would take it. In this
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| | different members of any tribe. The fork
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| manner the stick was passed from one
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| | is short and ends sharply to remind us
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| individual to another until anyone who
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| | that a solution to all conflict is
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| wished to speak had done so. The stick
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| | possible and need not end in a lonely
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| was then passed back to the leading elder
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| | journey for any member of the
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| for safekeeping. It carries respect for
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| | tribe.” The main idea is that it is
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| free speech and assures the speaker that
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| | made with love and out of respect for the
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| he has the freedom and power to say what
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| | family unit.
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| is in his heart without fear of reprisal
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| | We have our stick hung in a prominent
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| or humiliation.
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| | area of our house for all guests to see
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| So how does this Talking Stick effect our
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| | and the “story” is framed
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| relationships? A major difference between
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| | beside it. Quite a conversation piece!
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| vibrant marriages and those that end in
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| | As for my husband…I'd have to say
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| divorce is the way the couples
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| | that he really outdid himself on this
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| communicate…the way they handle
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| | project. I never would have believed that
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| disagreements and hurts. In healthy
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| | receiving a STICK could mean so much. I'd
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| marriages, disagreements are handled as
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| | like to share with you the final
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| they occur by discussing the situation
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| | sentences from his story, “The
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| until both partners are satisfied with
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| | Talking Stick is given from the loving
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| the result or some compromise has been
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| | heart of the tribe leader. This token of
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| agreed upon. Nothing kills a relationship
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| | love is so that every tribal member
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| and romance like
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| | remains together until the sun sets for
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| “mud-slinging” screaming
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| | the last time on our day. The love of an
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| matches or attempts to punish with the
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| | eagles flight, Chief Phillip!
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