| Somewhere around the summer between my 5th | | | | was to check the spelling of some word or to |
| and 6ths grade years at EV Cain Elementary | | | | double check on our homework assignment. We |
| School a girl named Rhonda moved from Grass | | | | knew girls were different, but we didn't give |
| Valley to Auburn, and there was something | | | | much thought to how they differed, except |
| about her that fascinated me. I saw her | | | | that they threw a baseball funny and used two |
| sometimes during the summer, going to the | | | | hands to shoot a basketball (even a lay up!), |
| show with other girls, or shopping downtown | | | | and they ran "like girls".Except Linda |
| with her Mother. She was intriguing to me for | | | | Polameri.She threw a ball the right way, ran |
| some reason. I can't think of that reason | | | | like a boy, and nobody would have bet against |
| now, but I wanted to meet her, or to do | | | | her in a fair fight. The reason I know that |
| something, anything, so she would notice me. | | | | is because she once got very angry with me in |
| Once I saw her at the town park up by the | | | | class after I beat her in a class election, |
| Recreation Field, and since I was a fast | | | | and challenged me to a fight afterward. |
| runner in those days, I thought I might show | | | | (Election of class officers was held twice a |
| her how swift I was, and thereby impress her | | | | year, as I recall, and students pretty much |
| with my speed. I had just seen a Superman | | | | voted by sex; the girls voted for whatever |
| movie, and was impressed with the whole idea | | | | girl was running, and the boys voted for |
| of speed, and thought she might be too. She | | | | whatever boy was running. The only reason I |
| was sitting on the lawn with a couple other | | | | ran was because no other boy wanted to run.) |
| girls I knew, and I wished that they would go | | | | By last period, the entire class had heard |
| away so I could impress her without them | | | | about the fight, taken sides, and some were |
| saying something like "that's only Duane," or | | | | even making bets. I guess what bothered me |
| some other dumb thing girls said back in | | | | the most was that even the boys who were |
| those days.I waited for probably a half-hour | | | | rooting for me in the fight were betting |
| or more for my opportunity. Her friends | | | | against me. Even my best friend, Jack |
| didn't budge. But I spotted a beagle running | | | | Stephens, who was as small as I was, only |
| lickity-split in her general direction, and I | | | | plumper, had bet his entire Friday's lunch |
| thought, "if she sees me running faster than | | | | money against me.Fortunately for me, Mr. Ryan |
| that dog, she'll really be impressed with | | | | got wind of the fight, too, and appeared |
| me!" So I took out at an angle, until I was | | | | after school behind the Quonset hut; the very |
| about parallel with the dog, and we zoomed | | | | spot previously appointed for the fight. When |
| side by side within a few feet of the girls | | | | the other kids saw him, they retreated |
| and on to wherever the dog was headed. Before | | | | awkwardly, and made their way toward the |
| I got out of earshot I heard her ask "who is | | | | playground and on home. Linda seemed |
| the dumb kid with the cute dog?" My heart | | | | disappointed that the scheduled fight had |
| sank, but my feet ran on. The dog seemed to | | | | been cancelled, but left with the others, not |
| know where he was going, but I didn't and | | | | wanting to get in trouble with Mr. Ryan, a |
| within seconds I found myself sliding on my | | | | fair but tough teacher who had been a career |
| back across a freshly watered section of | | | | officer in the Marines before he became a |
| lawn. As I slid to a stop, the dog turned | | | | teacher. When everyone was gone, I crawled |
| back, gave me a curious look, and licked my | | | | out from under the Quonset hut where I had |
| face as if to say, "Are you OK?" I couldn't | | | | been hiding, and skipped home, celebrating my |
| bear looking back to see if Rhonda was | | | | reprieve.Luckily, Linda didn't hold a grudge, |
| watching, but I heard the girls giggling, so | | | | and the next day at school she asked me if I |
| I was sure she saw the entire show.Later that | | | | wanted to shake and make up.I did.So we |
| same summer I was walking on the sidewalk in | | | | did.And that was the inauspicious start of my |
| front of the Auburn Post Office where my Dad | | | | first romance. Any girl who would shake and |
| worked, when I spotted her coming out of the | | | | make up, to say nothing of running and |
| Post Office lobby. She looked so pretty in | | | | throwing right, was worth my attention. It |
| her curly, bouncy hair, pink blouse and pedal | | | | started out slowly, by a quick meeting of our |
| pushers, that again I felt the surge of | | | | eyes during history class, then sending notes |
| desire coming over me to impress her. I | | | | back and forth during social studies, and |
| spotted a magnificent Schwinn bicycle parked | | | | climaxing in my request to change seats with |
| by the curb; a bike far more expensive than I | | | | John Towers so I could sit next to her. That |
| could ever hope to own, and since I was just | | | | was fine with John, who was tired of passing |
| a few feet from it at the time, I kind of | | | | our notes back and forth by now. That was the |
| casually stepped over to it and put one hand | | | | first time in my entire life that I had ever |
| on the handle bars, like I was just resting | | | | knowingly and willingly taken a seat next to |
| after a long ride through the foothills of | | | | a girl, and surprisingly, it felt kind of |
| the Sierras. To my great surprise, she DID | | | | good, in an embarrassing sort of way.She |
| notice me, and in fact walked directly toward | | | | liked me for approximately the same reasons, |
| me. When she was no more than a foot away | | | | I suspect. I ran fast, threw a baseball like |
| from me she asked, "OK, what are you doing | | | | I knew what I was doing, and was pretty fair |
| with my bike?"I mumbled something about being | | | | at the one-handed set shot. Then too, I was a |
| sorry I had mistaken her bike for mine, and | | | | boy, and it was a novelty for a boy to pay |
| she mumbled something with the word "stupid" | | | | that much attention to a girl at 11 years of |
| in it, and that was the end of that. She | | | | age.That spring was wonderful. Seeing Linda |
| never did notice me after that, and I guess | | | | every day at school; overhearing other girls |
| it's just as well. I understand she went on | | | | whisper about us "going together" in the |
| to become a very successful waitress in old | | | | cloakroom; and seeing a newfound admiration |
| town Auburn.Now that I've been married for | | | | in the eyes of some of my male friends. I |
| more years than I care to mention, I've given | | | | used to lie awake at night and dream of Linda |
| up the idea of trying to impress her. Oh, | | | | and I both making the Yankees; she at |
| when I'm back in town and drive by the Cozy | | | | shortstop and me in centerfield, winking at |
| Spot Cafe where she works, I'm always tempted | | | | each other between plays. I always out hit |
| to go in and somehow let her know that the | | | | her in my daydreams, probably to make up for |
| boy she scorned grew up to be a writer. But | | | | the fact that she always out hit me in real |
| about the time I start to pull in, my mind | | | | 7th grade baseball games. It just didn't seem |
| goes back to my first two attempts at | | | | right for her to be THAT good. And we were |
| impressing her, and I visualize myself | | | | tied for stolen bases, too, in my daydreams, |
| telling her about all the books I have | | | | right up to the last game of the season, when |
| written, and in my mind, she responds by | | | | I stole 5 bases in one inning, breaking Ty |
| sarcastically asking if I write about dogs | | | | Cobb's record (of course that was long before |
| and stolen bikes, and so I change my mind, | | | | Maury Wills, Ricky Henderson, etc.) and |
| and drive on.Of course, I knew lots of other | | | | putting me 1 ahead of Linda, who only stole 4 |
| girls as I was growing up, and I suppose I | | | | bases that same inning.Our 7th grade formal |
| had a normal amount of curiosity about them | | | | dance was in late May, and Linda looked |
| that any young guy had. Roy Poindexter, a 5th | | | | forward to it excitedly, talking a great deal |
| grader, told a bunch of us 4th grade boys | | | | about it, and hinting that she would dance |
| that the way to tell the difference between | | | | only with me. I was greatly flattered on the |
| boys and girls was to tape a small mirror to | | | | one hand, and worried on the other since I |
| the toe of one shoe, then walk casually up to | | | | didn't know how to dance.I needn't have |
| a girl and engage her in conversation, and | | | | worried, however.A kid named Chip Bonanno |
| simply place the foot with the mirror on it | | | | from New Jersey moved to Auburn three days |
| between the girl's feet. Then while she was | | | | before the dance. He was handsome, looked |
| talking, we would simply glance down and get | | | | much older than the rest of us boys, had big |
| a glimpse of whatever was hiding under her | | | | biceps which he showed off in cut-off |
| skirt.Roy spoke with the suave confidence of | | | | T-shirts, and spoke with not only a voice |
| one who had done it many times. In | | | | which had already changed to bass, but also |
| retrospect, I remember his Mom was a manager | | | | with the smooth sophistication of a city boy |
| of women's undergarments at J.C. Penny's, so | | | | who knew all about cars, girls, and the ways |
| he probably honed his craft by practicing on | | | | of the world. Linda and every other girl in |
| the mannequins after hours. Despite his | | | | the 7th grade fell in love with him |
| bragging, I have serious reservations as to | | | | instantly, and since Linda was the only girl |
| whether he ever tried it on a real, live | | | | in the 7th grade with a boyfriend, she was |
| girl, who would have to be both blind and | | | | the one he chose.She danced every dance with |
| stupid to stand still for such an obvious | | | | Chip at the formal, and as far as I knew, did |
| ploy.But Billy Roberts believed him, and | | | | not distinguish me from the furniture. I was |
| announced that he was going to try it the | | | | crushed, of course, and spent most of my time |
| next day at school. Instead of the scenario | | | | looking as sad as possible, in hopes that she |
| turning out the way Roy predicted, the moment | | | | would notice me and feel sorry for me and |
| Billy walked on the playground Wanda | | | | leave Chip and come back to me.It didn't |
| Johannson spotted the mirror, and yelled at | | | | work. She never looked.Duane Shinn is the |
| him across the basketball court "Hey Billy! | | | | author of the popular free 101-week online |
| What's that on your shoe?"So that was the end | | | | e-mail newsletter titled Amazing Secrets Of |
| of that experiment.And with a few notable | | | | Exciting Piano Chords & Sizzling Chord |
| exceptions, up until about the 7th grade | | | | Progressions - Intelligent Piano Lessons For |
| girls were those "other things" that we boys | | | | Adults Only!" with over 84,400 current |
| had no interest in and no use for, unless it | | | | subscribers. |