| Somewhere around the summer between my | | | | some word or to double check on our homework |
| 5th and 6ths grade years at EV Cain Elementary | | | | assignment. We knew girls were different, but we |
| School a girl named Rhonda moved from Grass | | | | didn't give much thought to how they differed, |
| Valley to Auburn, and there was something about | | | | except that they threw a baseball funny and used |
| her that fascinated me. I saw her sometimes | | | | two hands to shoot a basketball (even a lay up!), |
| during the summer, going to the show with other | | | | and they ran "like girls".Except Linda Polameri.She |
| girls, or shopping downtown with her Mother. She | | | | threw a ball the right way, ran like a boy, and |
| was intriguing to me for some reason. I can't | | | | nobody would have bet against her in a fair fight. |
| think of that reason now, but I wanted to meet | | | | The reason I know that is because she once got |
| her, or to do something, anything, so she would | | | | very angry with me in class after I beat her in a |
| notice me. Once I saw her at the town park up | | | | class election, and challenged me to a fight |
| by the Recreation Field, and since I was a fast | | | | afterward. (Election of class officers was held |
| runner in those days, I thought I might show her | | | | twice a year, as I recall, and students pretty |
| how swift I was, and thereby impress her with | | | | much voted by sex; the girls voted for whatever |
| my speed. I had just seen a Superman movie, | | | | girl was running, and the boys voted for |
| and was impressed with the whole idea of speed, | | | | whatever boy was running. The only reason I ran |
| and thought she might be too. She was sitting on | | | | was because no other boy wanted to run.) By |
| the lawn with a couple other girls I knew, and I | | | | last period, the entire class had heard about the |
| wished that they would go away so I could | | | | fight, taken sides, and some were even making |
| impress her without them saying something like | | | | bets. I guess what bothered me the most was |
| "that's only Duane," or some other dumb thing | | | | that even the boys who were rooting for me in |
| girls said back in those days.I waited for probably | | | | the fight were betting against me. Even my best |
| a half-hour or more for my opportunity. Her | | | | friend, Jack Stephens, who was as small as I was, |
| friends didn't budge. But I spotted a beagle running | | | | only plumper, had bet his entire Friday's lunch |
| lickity-split in her general direction, and I thought, | | | | money against me.Fortunately for me, Mr. Ryan |
| "if she sees me running faster than that dog, she'll | | | | got wind of the fight, too, and appeared after |
| really be impressed with me!" So I took out at an | | | | school behind the Quonset hut; the very spot |
| angle, until I was about parallel with the dog, and | | | | previously appointed for the fight. When the other |
| we zoomed side by side within a few feet of the | | | | kids saw him, they retreated awkwardly, and |
| girls and on to wherever the dog was headed. | | | | made their way toward the playground and on |
| Before I got out of earshot I heard her ask "who | | | | home. Linda seemed disappointed that the |
| is the dumb kid with the cute dog?" My heart | | | | scheduled fight had been cancelled, but left with |
| sank, but my feet ran on. The dog seemed to | | | | the others, not wanting to get in trouble with Mr. |
| know where he was going, but I didn't and within | | | | Ryan, a fair but tough teacher who had been a |
| seconds I found myself sliding on my back across | | | | career officer in the Marines before he became a |
| a freshly watered section of lawn. As I slid to a | | | | teacher. When everyone was gone, I crawled out |
| stop, the dog turned back, gave me a curious | | | | from under the Quonset hut where I had been |
| look, and licked my face as if to say, "Are you | | | | hiding, and skipped home, celebrating my |
| OK?" I couldn't bear looking back to see if Rhonda | | | | reprieve.Luckily, Linda didn't hold a grudge, and the |
| was watching, but I heard the girls giggling, so I | | | | next day at school she asked me if I wanted to |
| was sure she saw the entire show.Later that | | | | shake and make up.I did.So we did.And that was |
| same summer I was walking on the sidewalk in | | | | the inauspicious start of my first romance. Any |
| front of the Auburn Post Office where my Dad | | | | girl who would shake and make up, to say nothing |
| worked, when I spotted her coming out of the | | | | of running and throwing right, was worth my |
| Post Office lobby. She looked so pretty in her | | | | attention. It started out slowly, by a quick |
| curly, bouncy hair, pink blouse and pedal pushers, | | | | meeting of our eyes during history class, then |
| that again I felt the surge of desire coming over | | | | sending notes back and forth during social studies, |
| me to impress her. I spotted a magnificent | | | | and climaxing in my request to change seats with |
| Schwinn bicycle parked by the curb; a bike far | | | | John Towers so I could sit next to her. That was |
| more expensive than I could ever hope to own, | | | | fine with John, who was tired of passing our |
| and since I was just a few feet from it at the | | | | notes back and forth by now. That was the first |
| time, I kind of casually stepped over to it and put | | | | time in my entire life that I had ever knowingly |
| one hand on the handle bars, like I was just | | | | and willingly taken a seat next to a girl, and |
| resting after a long ride through the foothills of | | | | surprisingly, it felt kind of good, in an embarrassing |
| the Sierras. To my great surprise, she DID notice | | | | sort of way.She liked me for approximately the |
| me, and in fact walked directly toward me. When | | | | same reasons, I suspect. I ran fast, threw a |
| she was no more than a foot away from me she | | | | baseball like I knew what I was doing, and was |
| asked, "OK, what are you doing with my bike?"I | | | | pretty fair at the one-handed set shot. Then too, |
| mumbled something about being sorry I had | | | | I was a boy, and it was a novelty for a boy to |
| mistaken her bike for mine, and she mumbled | | | | pay that much attention to a girl at 11 years of |
| something with the word "stupid" in it, and that | | | | age.That spring was wonderful. Seeing Linda |
| was the end of that. She never did notice me | | | | every day at school; overhearing other girls |
| after that, and I guess it's just as well. I | | | | whisper about us "going together" in the |
| understand she went on to become a very | | | | cloakroom; and seeing a newfound admiration in |
| successful waitress in old town Auburn.Now that | | | | the eyes of some of my male friends. I used to |
| I've been married for more years than I care to | | | | lie awake at night and dream of Linda and I both |
| mention, I've given up the idea of trying to | | | | making the Yankees; she at shortstop and me in |
| impress her. Oh, when I'm back in town and drive | | | | centerfield, winking at each other between plays. I |
| by the Cozy Spot Cafe where she works, I'm | | | | always out hit her in my daydreams, probably to |
| always tempted to go in and somehow let her | | | | make up for the fact that she always out hit me |
| know that the boy she scorned grew up to be a | | | | in real 7th grade baseball games. It just didn't |
| writer. But about the time I start to pull in, my | | | | seem right for her to be THAT good. And we |
| mind goes back to my first two attempts at | | | | were tied for stolen bases, too, in my |
| impressing her, and I visualize myself telling her | | | | daydreams, right up to the last game of the |
| about all the books I have written, and in my | | | | season, when I stole 5 bases in one inning, |
| mind, she responds by sarcastically asking if I | | | | breaking Ty Cobb's record (of course that was |
| write about dogs and stolen bikes, and so I | | | | long before Maury Wills, Ricky Henderson, etc.) |
| change my mind, and drive on.Of course, I knew | | | | and putting me 1 ahead of Linda, who only stole 4 |
| lots of other girls as I was growing up, and I | | | | bases that same inning.Our 7th grade formal |
| suppose I had a normal amount of curiosity about | | | | dance was in late May, and Linda looked forward |
| them that any young guy had. Roy Poindexter, a | | | | to it excitedly, talking a great deal about it, and |
| 5th grader, told a bunch of us 4th grade boys | | | | hinting that she would dance only with me. I was |
| that the way to tell the difference between boys | | | | greatly flattered on the one hand, and worried on |
| and girls was to tape a small mirror to the toe of | | | | the other since I didn't know how to dance.I |
| one shoe, then walk casually up to a girl and | | | | needn't have worried, however.A kid named Chip |
| engage her in conversation, and simply place the | | | | Bonanno from New Jersey moved to Auburn |
| foot with the mirror on it between the girl's feet. | | | | three days before the dance. He was handsome, |
| Then while she was talking, we would simply | | | | looked much older than the rest of us boys, had |
| glance down and get a glimpse of whatever was | | | | big biceps which he showed off in cut-off T-shirts, |
| hiding under her skirt.Roy spoke with the suave | | | | and spoke with not only a voice which had |
| confidence of one who had done it many times. | | | | already changed to bass, but also with the |
| In retrospect, I remember his Mom was a | | | | smooth sophistication of a city boy who knew all |
| manager of women's undergarments at J.C. | | | | about cars, girls, and the ways of the world. Linda |
| Penny's, so he probably honed his craft by | | | | and every other girl in the 7th grade fell in love |
| practicing on the mannequins after hours. Despite | | | | with him instantly, and since Linda was the only girl |
| his bragging, I have serious reservations as to | | | | in the 7th grade with a boyfriend, she was the |
| whether he ever tried it on a real, live girl, who | | | | one he chose.She danced every dance with Chip |
| would have to be both blind and stupid to stand | | | | at the formal, and as far as I knew, did not |
| still for such an obvious ploy.But Billy Roberts | | | | distinguish me from the furniture. I was crushed, |
| believed him, and announced that he was going to | | | | of course, and spent most of my time looking as |
| try it the next day at school. Instead of the | | | | sad as possible, in hopes that she would notice |
| scenario turning out the way Roy predicted, the | | | | me and feel sorry for me and leave Chip and |
| moment Billy walked on the playground Wanda | | | | come back to me.It didn't work. She never |
| Johannson spotted the mirror, and yelled at him | | | | looked.Duane Shinn is the author of the popular |
| across the basketball court "Hey Billy! What's that | | | | free 101-week online e-mail newsletter titled |
| on your shoe?"So that was the end of that | | | | Amazing Secrets Of Exciting Piano Chords & |
| experiment.And with a few notable exceptions, up | | | | Sizzling Chord Progressions - Intelligent Piano |
| until about the 7th grade girls were those "other | | | | Lessons For Adults Only!" with over 84,400 |
| things" that we boys had no interest in and no | | | | current subscribers. |
| use for, unless it was to check the spelling of | | | | |